A good Union Shop Story

This story happened about 30 years ago, and yet is still funny all these years. I’m not to sure if this story belongs here, so please advise where it should go if not here.

Dramatis Personae:

Me: Me, The ex-Navy knucklehead, and this story’s Host

Shop Steward: SS

WARNING! WARNING! If you are a manager, you will want to (VERY HEAVILY CENSORED).

Also note: No names will be used, as I’ve simply forgotten them after 30 years.

Anyway, I’m a US Navy Veteran, 1984-90, and therefore I’m well qualified for Acronymns (sp?) ‘R’ Us (ARU), and I got a job at an aerospace plant a month after my discharge. About six months after I got hired, management decided that our Team Leaders should have their positions renamed. I never did find out who came up with the idea, but I’m convinced that by the end of this post, said “Gentleman” regretted it.

So, at the Union Shop Meeting, Management was ramming down our throats that the position of “Team Leader” was being renamed to “Business Unit Manager.” Me being a qualified ARU specialist, ran the new name through my head, came up to my conclusion, and then shouted, “H** yes! Let’s Do It!”

The room went silent, and everyone turned to me. The managers were grinning like a herd of Cheshire Cats, and the whole Shop was giving “Prepare to Die” looks.

SS said/growled, “Okay, CabbieVonBump, you have three minutes to make your peace with God or explain yourself.”

Me: “Thanks for the three minutes, but I’ll only need one.”

SS: “Proceed.”

Me: “Okay. So, the new title is gonna be Business Unit Manager, right.”

SS: " Yes."

Me: “Good. Now, I’m ex-navy, and everyone in the military is qualified as an ARU specialist.”

SS: “SO?!?!?”

Me: “So, what’s the first letter in 'Business?”

SS: “B.”’

Me: “And what’s the first letter in ‘Unit?’”

SS: “U.”

Me: “And what’s the first letter in ‘Manager?’”

SS: “M.”


So I called out to the Shop.

Me: “Gimme a ‘B’!”

Everybody: “B.”

Me: “Gimme a ‘U!’”

Everybody: “U!”

Me: “Gimme an ‘M!’”

Everybody: ‘M!’"

Me: “What does that spell?”

Everybody: “BUM!”

Me: “Well, SS, if management wants us to start calling them ‘Bums’, why are we arguing?”

There was no further debate, the Union passed the motion unanimously, and I got promoted to the top of every manager’s S*** list within the hour.

Last I heard, I’m still number 8 on the National Manager’s S*** list after 30 years.

As the Klingons would say, “Quop’La! (Success!)”. SWEET!